On the one hand, I understand why. Election years are always a bit uncertain, and this one feels very much like we're in the final scene of Joe versus the Volcano. It doesn't seem as if we have a whole lot of control over what we're leaping into. Whether the end result will be dire or not so dramatic remains to be seen.
Nevertheless, the events of the past week have lent themselves to an abundance of snipping and snarking, just in time for the holidays, no less! So, it's extremely refreshing when you hear of someone nice killing someone (who perhaps isn't being so nice) with kindness.
Tonight, on social media, a friend reported how she did just that. We've all been where she was--on the tail end of another driver's ire. To be frank, there are some days where I AM the angry driver . . . honking, muttering under my breath, and displaying not quite a case of road rage (but definitely exhibiting behaviors that could put me in the "at-risk" category). And then there are days where I'm my friend . . . startled by someone in another lane gesticulating wildly and acting as if I just hurled a brick at their windshield. In this latter scenario, I'll be even more frank, I am rarely the height of maturity. I won't delve into the boring details, but suffice it to say my reaction all too often involves a digit that isn't Thumb-Kin or Pointer Finger. Normally, I don't stick around to evaluate how my fellow-motorist feels about my universally recognized salute. Naturally, I don't imagine it puts a smile on their face, but what choice do I have?
Well, as my friend described this afternoon, I could kill them with kindness. Getting back to her story, she responded to the other driver's conniption fit with a smile and a wave. At first, I chuckled to myself. I thought, "That's actually brilliant--what better way to PO someone who clearly needs a swift kick in pants!" But then I realized I was missing the boat. And it's a boat I shouldn't be viewing from the dock because it's one I tell my kids about all the time. It's the boat on which we can't control how other people act . . . but can control our response to them.
As a mom, I run out of explanations for why bad things happen to good people. And as a control freak, I recognize that our emotions are about control, whether they should be or not. No one likes being hurt or scared or angry; those feelings are impossible to predict, prevent, or tuck away in neat little rows when we're done with them. What we do have power over is our reaction to them. It's true that we can give as good as we get, but where does that get us? Taking the high road isn't always as fun as dishing out road rage. Ultimately, however, the other driver always drives off. When we're left in the dust, we still have to live with who we are, and we have some choice in deciding who that is.
Plus, what's the harm in potentially showing someone else that things aren't as bleak as they seem? Not everyone's a monster, not everyone's a hater, and not everyone would just as soon give the single-digit salute as smile. We never know why a person is frustrated or sad; that other driver may have lost a job or, worse still, a loved one seconds before turning their keys in the ignition. The moment in which we respond to them is just that--a moment. Nevertheless, the manner in which we do it can be game-changing.
The game-changing kindness: Someone responded to unkindness with kindness.
How it changed the game: It allowed her to walk (drive) away a better human being--and possibly helped someone else do the same.
How it could change my/your game: We can't control how everyone acts, and that's scary as hell. But, by controlling our response--and tempering it with kindness--things aren't as Topsy-Turvy as they seem . . . even right now!
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