Day 14 (November 25, 2016): A Controversial Kindness

With the holiday, I fell off the wagon a bit and am backtracking. On that note, for today--Day 14--I thought I'd focus on a kindness that doesn't get enough coverage. In fact, it's perhaps even a bit controversial.

"Be kind to yourself." Four words I have heard many times. We all have. But they're easier spoken than implemented. And why?

For starters, we assume they run contrary to an idea many of us are raised with . . . put others first. As a wife, mother, and writer, there's something about relaxing or (shudder) sleeping that inherently makes me feel guilty. If I'm at rest, I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, whether that's reading a bedtime story or putting down new sheets or beginning a manuscript.

Of course, in reality, that is insane. Indulging myself (if you can call it that) every now and again only endows me with a sharper skill set. But that's now how we, as a society, roll. We're always striving to run faster, churn out increased productivity, and zoom ahead of the next guy (or gal, as it were). The truth is, when we slow down and breathe--when we're kinder to ourselves--we're capable of being kinder to everyone else, as well. The irony is that, this side of a few years ago, I was preaching this very principle during an interview conducted by another blogger. See http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/102274/baby_mama_of_the_week. 

As I reread her piece for the first time in years, I reflected, "Huh. Wow, was I at a different place mentally." I mean, telling other moms to be patient with themselves and not stress out over the small stuff?!? What was I taking? And where is the bottle with the magic happy pills now?

All kidding aside, here I sat earlier in the evening, beating myself with an iron-clad stick . . . over my lapse in blogging. Before that, I was anxious about the fact that I had snapped at my kids, though it was over an issue that frankly warranted more than the little snark I tossed their way. And let's not forget the million other topics that prompt so many of us to self-flog. What was the end result of all my "Bad Katie!" moments? Nada. Except that I found myself grouchier and more inclined to spoil the day than I had been when I first woke up.

That said, I'm all about whipping lemons into lemonade, partially via this blog. So, I'm giving myself a pass. I'm going to allow myself to have had a human moment--one of the many I should probably permit myself more often. I'm going to bed earlier (well, earlier than normal), and I'm going to be kind to ME. Self-serving, you say? A little. Maybe. Part of a bigger picture though? Absolutely. You see, when I wake up tomorrow, I'm not going to be stinging . . . the way you feel after a brutal workout the day before. On the contrary, I'm going to wake up ready to reach out and hug the people around me, whom I love--and who deserve 100 percent of the kindness that I deserve to show myself.